the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
