I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
