You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
