Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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