New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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