I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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