her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
