i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
