I wannas sexs uuuuu
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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