I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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