So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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