K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize
