I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am mentally ready for anal.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
