I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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