I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
