i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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