I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
