I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
