Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
