One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
