Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
