All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
