yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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