I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
