That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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