i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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