I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
