i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
