Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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