ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
