He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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