Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
