I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
