google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize