Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
