Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
