how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
