The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
