No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
