I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
