They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
