I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
