Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
