It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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