did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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