Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
