Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
