she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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