i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
