I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
