We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
