A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
