Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
